Day 1: Jamaica

Friday February 15, 2013

I have seen the scenario unfold on virtually every TV drama ever broadcasted, yet I never imagined that it actually occurred in real life. Surely the 2 am panicked phone call containing a family emergency was nothing more than a fictional plot twist to keep the audience engaged in a show. To my horror this fictional plot twist was now my reality.

I was on a missions trip in Jamaica with a team of Mel's students when the call came. Brian, our Jamaican contact, came into my room and roused me from a deep sleep. I could not see his face in the dark and even without my glasses on I knew something serious was wrong from his minimal attempt to be quiet. He handed me his phone and said I needed to call home immediately. Ray, my pastor, had just called and there was something wrong with Eliana.

The shock of these words made me sick. This had to be a dream, or maybe something I ate. I made the call in a daze and Mel answered after three rings, which felt like an eternity. My heart sank with the onset of her voice, this was serious!

Mel replayed the sequence of events that had played out over the preceding hours but all I heard was, my baby is girl is sick. I felt so far away, and so much guilt for the distance between us. Never before in my life have I ever wished for a super power, but in that moment I wished like nothing else that I could leap out of my own skin and fly to them both. After a moment the more logical part in my brain thankfully kicked in. I cut Mel off mid sentence, I told her I would call her back and that I would be there soon.

I woke Cam, Mel's colleague and our close friend, who was sleeping in the next room to relay the story. He and Brian took to the computer to plot a course home for me while I packed up my gear. Thirty minutes after my initial call to Mel the three of us were on the road to Montego Bay, the closest airport. I did not have a ticket home yet as our Internet connection was very limited. We did find a flight out of Montego Bay to Miami that left at 8am but had no idea of availability and what connections to Winnipeg there would be.  

We arrived at the airport around 5:30 am to find that none of the ticket agents were there. Thankfully Brian had an apartment nearby where we anticipated a better Internet connection. The connection was strong at Brian's apartment and we were able to try hundreds of different flight combinations. After an hour of Cam and Brian working on my flight we succumbed to the fact that my best option would get me back to Winnipeg around 7:45 pm. Fourteen hours from now! We booked the tickets and I called Mel to share the news and get an update.

In the time since we last spoke things had gotten significantly worse. The plan now was to try and transport her to Edmonton where the cardio centre for western Canada was located. I was trying so hard to be strong for Mel over the phone but I know my voice betrayed me. I had to get off the phone with her before I broke down completely. I was filled with anger, praying and crying I questioned God and the course of events like I never have before. I was making myself physically nauseous, convulsing, and fighting the urge to smash everything around me.

When I pulled myself together I left the room I was hiding out in to join Cam and Brian. Our new mission was to look at flight options from Winnipeg to Edmonton in anticipation of Ellie's move. There were none. At least there were none that departed after my 7:45 pm arrival. I was not going to wait any longer than I had to to see my family. I started doing the math, could I drive to Edmonton before the red eye flight, who would come with me on the drive, surely it would not be safe to go alone. While all of this was playing out in my head Cam was able to plot out a course from Montego Bay to Edmonton which would get me there around 11:45 pm. Thankfully this new flight was on Westjet again, the company I had booked my flight to Winnipeg on. Our hope was that once we had confirmation that Ellie was indeed being transported to Edmonton we would go to the Westjet ticket agent and try and get me on to this new flight.

At 10 am Jamaican time I had confirmation from Mel that the transfer was happening and they should be there by mid afternoon. With this news the three of us headed back to the airport to try and switch my flight from Winnipeg to Edmonton. At this point I did not care if I had to pay for six different flights home as long as I got there. Thankfully it did not come to this. The ticket agent was very sympathetic and made all the arrangements for me. I would be in Edmonton tonight baring any further disasters. All there was to do now was wait.

The next few hours of waiting sucked to put it mildly. I called Mel one more time before I went through security and lost access to Brian's cell phone. Her voice was noticeably worse, was Ellie gone? Had I missed her? My head was getting light, I wished Mel would just spit the words out so I could begin to process this new horror. Ellie's heart had stopped beating while the transport team was inserting her breathing tube. They had to perform CPR for five minutes before she was stable and her heart has beating again, albeit with multiple chemical and mechanical aids. 

Armed with this news I board my first flight, to Toronto. I was filled with the anxiety that my little girl could die before I got there. The flight was uneventful until we neared Toronto. A snow storm had settled in and was dumping layers of snow on the city. We circled the airport for thirty minutes waiting for a runway to be cleared for our arrival. When we finally did land, the freezing snow had jammed up the departure walkway which prevented us from leaving the plane. My connection window was shrinking, the flight to Edmonton departed at 9 pm and it was now nearly 8 pm and I still had to go through customs and recheck my bag. Eventually the doors opened and I began my sprint to customs. Thankfully everything was fast and I made it to my next terminal on time for boarding. That is if boarding had been on time. When you are in the throes of a crisis you get tunnel vision, had my plane not just been delayed, what made this plane so special that it is perfectly on time? Of course my connection was also delayed.

When we finally were able to board we were 45 minutes late. We then sat there waiting to be de-iced and for a runway to be cleared for another two hours. I arrived in Edmonton at 2 am. Our cousins Jon and Sara thankfully were there to pick me up and take me to the hospital.

Ellie had survived the transport and was stable. 

I could hardly see her through all the tubing and machines, but she was alive and in one of the best infant cardiac facilities in North America. 

Where do we go from here?

Day 1: Winnipeg

Friday February 15, 2013
 
Ellie was diagnosed with Bronchiolitis in mid January, but it wasn't until Thursday, February 14th when it became a huge concern for me.  Through out the day things really seemed to take a change for the worse. On top of her constant coughing and laboured  breathing she stopped eating except when I forced her to.  This unfortunately caused her to vomit.  She also started to have diarrhea every time she ate anything.  I had been on the phone with HealthLinks twice that day and also got a hold of her pediatrician.  They all told me there was nothing that could be done for the Bronchiolitis.  That this was normal. I can tell you it didn't feel normal. 

I struggled through the night with virtually no sleep as I watched her fight to breathe. The next day it was more of the same, a call to HealthLinks, and a constant struggle to get her to keep any food down. Around 9pm that night my mom and I were feeding her when she inevitably threw up again.  However this time things got really  bad.  Ellie turned white, glistened in a cool sweat and went limp.  Her breathing was the worst rasping I had ever heard.  Her lips turned bluish.  I looked at my mom with panic in my eyes and we agreed with a glance that we were rushing to the hospital.  It was probably  the longest car drive ever... even though I ran four yellow lights.  

When we got there, there were a few people in front of me but I forced a nurse to look at Ellie.  This resulted in her picking Ellie up and taking her directly to a doctor in the back.  

By now she started to look a little more "normal" and I was worried that they were just going to send me home again... but obviously this was not the case.  After a few hours of tests done by specialists who were called in, she was rushed to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU).  There she was put on a few different heart medications.  

At this time the Pediatric cardiologist took me aside and told me that Ellie was in serious trouble.  That if she hadn't  come in to the hospital when she did she wouldn't have made it.  He then proceeded to tell me that the next few hours were critical and that I shouldn't leave the hospital.  

I knew I had to phone Dan in Jamaica and tell him to come home.  By now it was 2 am Saturday morning.  I was able to get ahold of our pastor and give him a phone number to call where Dan was staying.  Thankfully Dan called a few minutes later sounding groggy and worried at the same time.  I then updated him and he began his long journey home.

 A few hours later, roughly 4 am now, the cardiac specialist took me aside again and told me that Ellie needed to go to a facility that specialized in cardiology in Edmonton.  He wanted to be cautious in case she needed an Extra Coporeal Membrane Oxygenation (ECMO) machine.  This is a life support machine that acts as her heart and lungs if they stop functioning.  It seemed we would be leaving for Edmonton later that day.   

In preparation for her flight, Ellie needed to have a breathing tube put in.  The idea was that it would keep her from moving on the plane (because she would be sedated) and if anything happened on the flight, it's practically impossible to intubate due to the pressure in the airplane.  They also wanted to put in an internal jugular line so that drugs could be administered quickly.  For these procedures I was asked to leave.  

Another couple of hours passed and the cardiologist was back.  At first I didn't think anything about it but one look at his face and I knew something was up... I just wasn't ready for it.  I was told that it had taken the team a long time to try and insert the jugular line to no avail, this was followed by attempts at a venous femoral line, also to no avail.  But when he told me that her heart stopped beating when they were putting in the breathing tube my heart broke.  He then proceeded to tell me that she was down for five minutes.  CPR was given the entire time and they were able to determine that she had maintained blood pressure throughout due to the sensor in the arterial line in her wrist.  He said that they wouldn't know the ramifications of this until later but in very young children, they are able to create new pathways in the brain if any had been affected.

 I think at this point reality still hadn't sunk in.  He obviously was talking about somebody else's baby!  I felt sorry for that mother but I was glad it wasn't me who had to deal with this news.  It probably wasn't until I said it out loud to my sister that it finally started to sunk in.  To say that I was devastated would be an understatement.  

They let me back in her room before they left for their flight.  I almost didn't recognize her.  She looked so little and fragile.  I just wanted to pick her up but they were already running late due to the previous difficulties.  At 12:50 Saturday afternoon, I kissed her goodbye and told her that she had to be strong.  That I expected to see her in Edmonton.  That she needed to hold on until her daddy could see her.  I remember asking her cardiologist what her chance of making it to Edmonton was... I had a feeling of dread..  He looked at me and said that honestly she had a 90% chance of making it.  This was better than what I was expecting but 10% was still too risky for my liking.  She was whisked off and our adventure was just beginning.